aheadindustry

aheadindustry is a blog about dumbness in global business. It contains massively speculative and baseless backward looking statements.

“23 France Télécom employees have committed suicide since its trade unions started to track the data in 2008.”

—WSJ never misses a chance to bash France.

Tue 22 Sep ∞ Permalink

“Drug dealers are the perfect gurus for a recession or credit crunch. They live permanently in a world of zero credit: if you are a hustler, you can’t go to your bank manager and get a loan, so the best ones are virtuosos at managing cash flow.”

—The FT only gets it right when they’re quoting 50 Cent

Tue 22 Sep ∞ Permalink

“With my overpriced advisory services and profligate spending on luxury travel, I was a grossly inefficient efficiency expert, a parody of economic virtue.”

—From a new book titled The Management Myth, which details the many ways in which consultants are really the worst people in the world.

Thu 06 Aug ∞ Permalink

“Undertakers are now shoving S&P’s shrivelled carcass deep into the bowels of the credibility morgue where it will remain forever entombed in an unmarked grave, with a final forensic assessment of professional suicide.”

—More ZeroHedge comedy gold

Wed 22 Jul ∞ Permalink

“A poll of more than 1,000 people with investible assets of at least $1 million, found that 46% of millionaires didn’t feel wealthy.”

—The Economist helps me add 460 people to my list of complete jackasses deserving scorn, floggings

Thu 14 May ∞ Permalink

“The New York Post, perhaps the most laughable newspaper in America, noted for its extensive use of dollar signs instead of the letter “S” in headlines, no matter how tenuous the story’s relation to finance.”

—Dickipedia.org entry for Rupert Murdoch

Tue 05 May ∞ Permalink

Asshole Of The Day: Stefan Stern
It is my sincere hope that this condescending smug hack blogger finds his “journalism” career smashed to bits on the newspaper industry’s troubles and ends up cleaning out meatpacking plants in Slough, dreaming of one day being able to pick strawberries under the Spanish sun.

Tue 07 Apr ∞ Permalink

Bored With Ford

The auto makers have been taking so much shit lately from media and government, that I began to think they might be slowly rotating in their reclining chairs to face the right direction. Silly me, in the car makers executive suite, logic doesn’t apply. Exhibit A, the proxy ballot I got from Ford (F) today. (full disclosure: I bought 10 shares at $1.49 a pop, when it seemed like the world was going to end earlier this year.) In CAPS is the proposal to be voted on at the annual shareholders meeting and in [brackets] is the reccomendation from the board of directors.

RELATING TO CONSIDERATION OF A RECAPITALIZATION PLAN TO PROVIDE THAT ALL OF THE OUTSTANDING STOCK HAVE ONE VOTE PER SHARE. [Against]

RELATING TO PROVIDING SHAREHOLDERS THE OPPORTUNITY TO CAST AN ADVISORY VOTE TO RATIFY THE COMPENSATION OF NAMED EXECUTIVES. [Against]

RELATING TO THE COMPANY ADOPTING COMPREHENSIVE HEALTH CARE REFORM PRINCIPLES. [Against]

RELATING TO LIMITING EXECUTIVE COMPENSATION UNTIL THE COMPANY ACHIEVES TWO CONSECUTIVE YEARS OF PROFITABILITY. [Against]